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My experience with boys was pretty minimal up until I had two of my own. I grew up an only child, the majority of my friends were girls, and the majority of my family is female. Even my extended family is heavily female. Boys were pretty foreign to me. So when the ultrasound tech told me that I was pregnant with a boy, I panicked a little. I didn’t know anything about parenting boys. Nothing. Zip. Nada!

My crash course in being the mom of a boy began soon after midnight on December 8, 1999. I was now in charge of raising this tiny blue-eyed redheaded boy that I didn’t know anything about. It was time to suck it up, Buttercup. I was in for the ride of my life. 

What is so special about being the mom of boys, anyway?

They love their mamas

We’ve all heard the term mama’s boy. Many times it is used as a negative, though I don’t understand why. Little boys love their mothers and this mother thinks that’s pretty amazing. My sons are 17 and 6, so I don’t get the overt love and affection that I once did from my 17-year-old. But like his older brother before him, my 6-year-old loves to give me hugs, sit on my lap, read stories, and tell me all about his day. This is what it’s all about, folks.

They are rambunctious

Hoo boy! Yes. My sons are like night and day; they are literally opposites in every way. My oldest son was always a calm, fairly reserved kid. For the almost 11 years that he was my only child, I thought that all of the stereotypes were wrong. Then I had my second son. Whoo! This kid. This kid keeps us on our toes at all times. He is always moving, jumping, flipping around, running, and generally causing a ruckus. By the end of the day, I’m wiped out. Cooked. Done! 

Everything is a gun

It doesn’t matter if you are anti or pro gun. It also doesn’t matter if you allow your sons to play with toy guns or not. At some point in their life, everything will be a gun. They’ll make them out of their fingers, Legos, Play-Doh, you name it. There’s no escaping it. At some point, everything is a gun. 

Their penis might fall off 

To hear them tell it, this is absolutely true. The penis obsession starts at a very young age. They have to keep checking several times a day to make sure it hasn’t fallen off yet. I can’t tell you how many times a day I say, “get your hands out of your pants”. Much more than I ever imagined, that’s for sure. 

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You can find cute clothes for boys

It’s true! Girls don’t corner the market in cuteness. Sure, there are a lot of clothing manufacturers that seem to think boys only wear stripes, but it can be done. It may take a little more work to find cute clothes for boys, but it is possible. I especially like Boden (get 20% off here with code FRND), H&M, Hanna Andersson, Gymboree, and even Kohl’s for cute boys’ clothes. 

Their toys are actually a lot of fun

When I was a little girl we had a family friend with two sons. I thought they had the coolest toys and I loved playing with their Transformers, Star Wars stuff, and Castle Grayskull. Am I dating myself here? The same is still true today. I love some of their trucks, Legos, and scooters. They also love to play with play kitchens, so don’t assume that because they’re boys they won’t like that stuff. Boys need to know how to cook, too. 

I hope you like cleaning the bathroom

Seriously, boys pee everywhere! I don’t know how they do it, but they do. The floor, the side of the toilet, the seat, you name it. As the only person in this house who can manage to hit the bowl every time, it’s hardly fair that I have to clean up these messes. That’s why I have a Costco-sized supply of bathroom cleaning wipes in every bathroom for the male folk to use. Yuck! No, thank you!

You will probably visit the ER

At least once. My youngest got his first set of stitches before he turned three. Even my oldest, the least rowdy of the two, went to the ER when he was about three because he stuck a rock up his nose. Yup. A Rock. Up his nose.

I’d laugh at the absurdity of it all, but a month or so ago the six-year-old did the same thing. This time it wasn’t a rock but a little rubber piece from a spikey ball, but the idea is the same. Since I am two for two with this, either it’s common or my kids are weirdos. Frankly, either could be true. So, if your kid sticks something too far up his nose for you to get on your own, don’t panic. All they do is use a really long pair of tweezers to get it out. NBD.

Parenting boys

This parenting boys thing has been a huge learning experience over the past 17 years. What was once scary is now commonplace. I am the queen of my castle of boys (even all of the pets are boys!) and I have come to accept and embrace my role. While I will never be able to pass down my love of Barbie or braid someone else’s hair, I’m okay with that. Now that I’m an old pro at raising boys, I wouldn’t have it any other way.